Not long ago I traveled to California for a speaking engagement. As I was the first speaker on tap for the morning session, I arrived the night before and checked into the hotel in time for dinner.

I had just been seated in the restaurant when a couple came in. The woman headed off to the lady’s room and the man sat down at their table. Before she returned he had ordered himself a drink and was scarfing down a dinner roll. When the woman arrived at the table, I watched her pull her chair out herself and awkwardly sit down, obviously favoring a leg. The husband barely looked up, and then she had to order her own drink.

We all see this kind of behavior all the time. In fact, it’s pretty much the norm.

The sad fact is that most people today not only don’t have good manners, they have no idea what that even means. Today’s grownups were raised by parents who did not understand that manners had to be taught. You see boorish behavior everywhere – in traffic, elevators, theaters and offices. Some people seem to revel in being jerks, for reasons I cannot comprehend.

And yet, if you have good manners, chances are you’ve got a step on your peers. Proper etiquette stands out, even if people aren’t quite sure what it is when they experience it. Of course, jerks aren’t going to notice it, because they don’t notice anything except what they need in the moment. But many people do like being treated with dignity and respect. In fact, opening doors for others can open doors of opportunity – good manners are a must when attempting to climb the corporate ladder or impress a prospective employer or client.

That’s why there are classes sprouting up all over the country these days where people can learn etiquette. How to say “thank you” in an appropriate way at the right moment, how to help people get seated at dinner, how to use the right knife and fork when entertaining or dining out – all these simple skills now must be taught to young people. 
Manners are so critical to businesses, and yet good customer service is getting harder and harder to find. Everybody in the healthcare industry tells me that customer service is such a high priority, but I seldom see much evidence of it. Think of how often upon entering a hospital that someone greets you and helps you get where you need to be. Most organizations won’t spend the money to improve customer service, but patient satisfaction surveys are often dominated by complaints about how people are treated. Just as important as getting the right care is feeling like people are paying attention to your needs and care about you as a person. And yet in so many institutions, providers treat patients like they are a necessary evil.

This is true despite the fact that excellent customer service pays off on the bottom line.

Think of the organizations that are famous for great service – Nordstrom, Marriott, Elizabeth Arden, Southwest Airlines and others. They may not always deliver these days, but they made their names by paying attention to what people wanted and delivering their products and services with attention to detail and gracious care of their clientele.

If you want to truly succeed in an ever more competitive economy, one of the traits to cultivate – within yourself and the people who work for you – is how to treat others with the kind of dignity and respect that you appreciate receiving.

It’s really that simple.

Thank you.