By Chuck Lauer
When you take away all other trappings, there are a few basic factors that help us evaluate a person's character. It's not the clothes a person wears, the kind of car they drive or the size of their house. It’s about whether they are good, kind and optimistic.

We put out clues about ourselves in every single interaction. Our manners, our ability to show empathy for others and the kind of energy we exude—all serve to define us in the eyes of others. You may have heard the clichés about having one chance to make a good impression and putting your best foot forward. Yes, they sound pat, but they are oh-so-true.

The fact is that manners have been on a steady decline for decades. You can see how far we have fallen with almost any casual glance about you. In the workplace, in traffic, at the grocery store and in social engagements, you see people who seem to have no idea that they are not alone, that there are other human beings nearby who might take exception to their incredibly boorish behavior.

One important place I notice this loss of grace is the rather curt way people treat each other when they communicate. Most e-mails I read don’t even start off with a greeting such as “Dear Chuck,” or even “Hi there, it’s me.” The author simply starts mid-thought, without any kind of greeting and often not bothering with style, grammar or even coherence. You are expected to sort out the meaning in this jangled syntax.

In person, it gets no better. Few people stand up when someone enters their office. You should do that no matter who is coming in. Body language does more than suggest what is thought of the guest; it’s glaringly obvious whether you show respect or not.

I’ve trained salespeople for decades, and one of the things I stress over and over is the impression good manners make on other individuals. There is no one, no matter how obtuse, who doesn’t respond well to being treated with dignity and respect. Even a small greeting, such as “Hello,” is a sign of civility. Many years ago I attended a small college in Vermont where the tradition was always to say hello to whomever you encountered going from class to class or even in the dorm. In recent years in my suburb near Chicago I’ve said hello to countless people who won’t even make eye contact, let alone respond verbally to my greeting. It always surprises me, and seems like a slap in the face.

In sales, good manners are absolutely essential for success, and yet even in that field, you see those who lack grace. If you want to make a big hit with customers, you need to show exquisite manners at all times. Never sit down before the person you are calling on is already seated. Let the person you are calling on speak first. You are the guest, so you need to conduct yourself as such. Address the customer as “sir” or “ma’am” when answering a question. Use the person’s first name only when you are invited to do so. As I noted, people like to be treated with dignity and respect, and when anyone shows good manners in their business dealings they leave a positive impression.

This leads me to another character trait. In any endeavor you need to give off a good vibe. I’m talking here about attitude. Those who have joie de vivre make others happy as well. They make it clear they love being alive and get excited meeting and working with others. Who wants to be around people who are cynical and exude negative energy? People like that drag down the morale of any organization. On the other hand, people with enthusiasm and positive attitude can create an atmosphere of success and spur increased productivity. Most successful salespeople I’ve worked with always display a positive and can-do spirit. They infect others with their goodwill and energy and improve the chances of success for any organization.

So, as we charge into a new year, it probably isn't a bad idea to remember these few character traits to look for in others and cultivate in yourself. Always practice good manners in your dealings with others, and you will reap incredible dividends in both your personal and professional life. You may have problems, but treat them as obstacles to overcome and tackle them with energy and optimism. I truly believe you can change your outlook on life.

The world is yours if you treat others well and live life with great enthusiasm. Hello, 2012!